Losing One of Our Own | - The Colon Club

July 17th, 2012, we lost one of the great ones. We lost one of our own. We lost Pat Steer, aka ?Gaelen?.

I first joined The Colon Club in February 2008, Pat joined a few months later in June 2008. I got in the habit of reading her posts whether the topic applied to me or not because I knew whatever she had to say, it would be interesting, intelligent and okay, sometimes a bit controversial. Early on I spoke up in her defense on one thing or another when she was being attacked on the board. She sent me a PM informing me that although she appreciated the thought, she was a big girl and was more than capable of defending herself. Al-righty then.

That didn?t deter me. I always was and always will be a fan of Gaelen?s. At one point I inquired about starting my own blog and she sent me all sorts of helpful links and advice on what to do and not do. So far I?ve done nothing, but I?ve saved the information because I know if and when I do decide to jump into the world of blogging, that Pat has given me the road map I?ll need to do it.

Most people here either loved her or hated her. Some thought that The Colon Club favored Pat and allowed her special privileges. I don?t know why they would, as Pat was just as quick to criticize The Colon Club as to how they should run and moderate their web-site (and didn?t) as she would anyone.

To me, Pat?s criticism and advice were given out of a true passion and desire to help others. She was desperate to make the world right. It was as though it had been such a struggle and a journey for her to understand how things worked, that her mission in life was to clear the path for others so that they wouldn?t have to waste their precious time in recreating the wheel. It baffled her and frustrated her to no end when others couldn?t see the world as clearly as she saw it through her own eyes. I imagined her throwing her arms up in the air, rolling her eyes and banging out a flaming post on her keyboard to anyone who didn?t get the point she was trying to make.

When my recurrence was confirmed just before Christmas 2010, Pat was there to help me through it. She helped me get my head around my situation and plot my strategy. She was my compass. I looked to Pat for guidance, inspiration and support. And she never disappointed me. Meeting her at Call on Congress in March of 2012 was a pleasure and an honor. She was exactly the person I had envisioned her to be, just a little louder. During the event she was awarded the Andrew Giusti Memorial Award. The award is given out annually in memory of Andy Giusti, a former Board member, scientist and colorectal cancer patient to honor advocates who work in the research environment. Pat was a consumer reviewer for the Department of Defense?s Congressionally Directed Medical Research Program in 2011 which funds research for colorectal cancer, among other cancers.

It was awesome to see this amazing woman receive the recognition that she so rightly deserved. But even then, she was beginning to show some cracks in her granite facade.

Near the end I literally winced when I would read Pats posts. The last few months she held nothing back in her tell it like it is fashion. Most of us knew of her situation and I think we gave her a lot of slack. Others with less knowledge, sensitivity or both felt the need to pick up their swords against her. I stayed silent on the board, but would occasionally send her private messages on Facebook letting her know I was thinking of her. I wondered to myself if she was trying to push people away so they wouldn?t reach out to her or feel sorry for her in her final months. Strong, fierce and independent to the very end.

I confess that my psyche has been more than a little shaken by the loss of Pat. We?ve lost many of our own and I mourn each and every one of their lives. But Pat?s passing has hit me especially hard. Pat led by example and I followed her lead. If Pat could do it, then I could too. Whether it was advocating in the legislature or in my own doctors office, I learned these things from Pat. I will miss her knowledge, her expertise, her passion. The Board will go on, but it will be a little quieter and more civil without Pat on the sidelines. Pat was unique and special. In time, the majority of the folks here won?t even recognize her name or know of her at all. Such is life. As for me, a part of Pat will be with me always and I am a better person for having known her. And Pat, in your honor, I will strive to always ?Live Life Out Loud?. Good bye my friend, I will miss you terribly.

Source: http://www.colonclub.com/2012/07/losing-one-of-our-own/

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